I was reading through Luke, and read Jesus' arrest differently. Right as Judas was about to betray Jesus with that legendary kiss, the disciples caught on to what was happening. The scene is in the garden, and soldiers are approaching Jesus and his disciples to take Jesus to the cross.
"When Jesus' followers saw what was going to happen {Jesus being betrayed}, they said, 'Lord, should we strike them with our swords?' And one of them struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his right ear. But Jesus answered, 'No more of this!' And he touched the man's ear and healed him." - Luke 22:49-51
I remember when I was a senior in high school, I had this history teacher who wanted to make it very clear the church was at fault for a lot of historical events that could have been avoided. He loved talking about the Crusades and Christian bombers, and even the every day 'judgmental' and 'hypocritical' Christians everyone likes to point their finger at. It got me thinking, where did we go wrong? How did the church become the problem, rather than the solution? It's okay if people hate the church because of Jesus, it is not okay to hate Jesus because of the church. (John 15:18-25). We don't need everyone to like us. In fact, the Bible tells us that won't happen. What we do need is to be pointing others to Jesus. That is the very purpose of the church body.
The church has gone wrong with a rebellious heart, even behind good intent. The passage I put above is how I have seen Christian's react when they see people sinning, or using the Lord's name in vain. As Christ's body, we see something does not honor God, like Jesus being betrayed (good intent), so we act rashly, like cutting someone's ear off (poor follow through). We intervene, telling that awful sinner "No!" We want them to know the truth, the weight of their actions, but we forget that they aren't held to the same standard if they are not in Christ. We as Christians, cannot tell "outsiders" how they should behave (1 Corinthians 5:12-13). Christians, you have a good intention, don't get rid of that! But change your approach.
The interesting thing about this passage is the disciples asked Jesus what they should do, but before they listened to the Holy Spirit, the answer from Jesus, they went ahead and chopped a guy's ear off. The injured man didn't feel love in that moment, and he didn't understand truth better. He concluded that these people were up to no good. He, the servant of the high priest who in this scenario represents the non-church goer, rightfully interpreted that he was hated and unwanted because he opposed them. I love what Jesus does, though. Jesus says, "Stop it! I don't want anymore of this judgmental anger. You, the church, love and get personal with the people that oppose you." And he just puts the ear back on! Like sorry my people messed up, but you actually are loved. Humility.
So maybe the problem is we don't wait to hear from the Lord. The disciples asked the right question, "what should we do about this guy's disobedience?" but instead of waiting for Jesus to answer, they took matters into their own hands. They let their passion, although coming from a good place, take the place of truth, and grace, which are the two qualities Jesus fully expressed at all times.
The church didn't get its bad rep because people outside of the church didn't like it. The church got its bad rep because the people inside the church spent more time rebuking, correcting, and teaching people outside of the church than they did being rebuked, corrected, and taught by the Lord. Let's change that. Although the Lord has always seen the church as holy, (because his love is based on Jesus not on us), it is time for the world to see us that way, too, whether they like it or not. We, as the body, need to acknowledge where we have stepped out of line, especially to nonbelievers, and express the same humility Jesus did, putting the ear back on the man who he knew would arrest him anyways.
"Therefore, be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, and offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma." -Ephesians 5:1-2
Saturday, March 26, 2016
Tuesday, March 22, 2016
Answered Prayers
I've been wanting to blog the last few days, but I have honestly been speechless. I still am, but I can't take it anymore.
God is doing amazing things, and I just have to tell you about it!
I go to a secular, public university, but from my point of view the last few weeks, you could hardly tell. I'm not saying there isn't brokenness, not at all. What I am saying is that God's presence is so evident. This whole semester has been a journey of seeing God more, everywhere. But at this point, I don't even have to go looking, he is showing himself in places I was beginning to lose hope.
A few weeks ago, I started praying. I don't mean "watch over me as I sleep" prayers, but like real burdens. The real, "I don't even think you'll do anything God, but would you just listen to what's bothering me?" prayers. I have been complaining to God every day since, nagging on him to listen to my little worries, and my big ones. And he has been unbelievably faithful to fulfill every request, and more. (And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we will have the requests that we have asked of him. -1 John 5:14-15). I want to praise Jesus for meeting me there, but please note that whether God answers our prayers or not, he is still good, and still praiseworthy. Don't do yourself a disservice by having a shallow relationship with God, only thanking him when things are good, and avoiding him when they are not. He is the same, beautiful, majestic, glorious Father whether we recognize our blessings or not.
Anyways, my prayers were heard. The prayers he put on my heart, he has carried out. I'm pretty far into the semester now and I had the rude awakening right before spring break, that there is no more room for excuses. I can't say I'm not sharing the gospel because I am still adjusting, that I don't feel the call, that I'm too busy. God knows me too well to even entertain those excuses. I was out of excuses, but the miraculous thing was, I didn't want to have anymore excuses. I didn't, and don't want to resist anymore. Before I even started seeking a change, God was transforming my stubborn, pitiful heart into a willing, and hungry heart. But then what?
I haven't been bold in my faith, in terms of talking to strangers, sharing the gospel, in far too long. I felt rusty. Not an excuse, but another cry for help. "Okay God, we both want me to go, would you bring people alongside of me, with the same desires?" A day goes by. My roommate comes running in our room, all excited that a young man had asked to pray over her and engage in a spiritual conversation. She politely declined him, but we went on to have an hour conversation of the gospel she grew up hearing. Man, my conviction grew. People on campus are doing the stuff and I am beyond encouraged. When can I go?
The next day I'm sitting outside in beautiful weather and two older gentlemen come over and ask if we could have a spiritual conversation. "Heck yes, take a seat!" and the two sit before me. They tell me they are from Ohio, helping a new church plant on campus, and that their group have seen 7 people decide to put their faith in Jesus in that week alone. It was Tuesday when they stopped me. I told them I'm really eager but feel unprepared, and they offered that I shadow them the next day. Great! I had my people to teach me, but what happens after they leave? "God, would you please give me people who are on campus, who will join me?" Wednesday morning, a man at breakfast asked me what was on my mind. I had recognized him from one of the ministries I participate in on campus. Funny he should ask, as I was just talking to my mentor about how I wish the same ministry I am apart of with this guy would do more for the campus. Long story, but he has the same heart I do, wanting to go.
I went with the Ohio guys and invited my friend on campus. We separated from them and my two friends joined me in some conversations. It felt like I never stopped after just a few times. The guy I met at breakfast invited me to an event the following Saturday to join a group that are already involved on campus and in the community with the same stuff I'm interested in. We both go, and we both left amazed. I was expecting it to be all students, but of the 15 or so that were there, I think there were 5 students total. There were three staff members from our school, and nearby neighbors..every walk of life. All coming together to encourage each other and the ministry at hand. I got up at one point just too excited to sit still! God was and is doing something huge.
My other friend involved in a different ministry has been going on prayer walks like every day. I see Christian organizations rising up and waking up to the calling we've all fallen asleep to. Whether its be writing verses on the sidewalk, or meeting faithfully every week, or uttering Jesus name, He is being glorified more on this campus than I could have prayed to see in 4 more years at this university. There is change happening, and I am beyond elated that I'm not the only one who won't stop until we see it.
All of this to say, many peoples prayers are being answered, but on so many more levels than I can describe here.
So to end this long post (I didn't even include everything!), whether you are paying attention to how God is moving in your life and around you or not, he is. But man, you are missing out on some indescribable excitement if you don't tune in. I can honestly say my heart feels like it is going to explode every day from the life I have found in Jesus, and I pray the same for you.
"For you, O LORD, have made me glad with what you have done, I will sing for joy at the works of your hands." - Psalm 92:4
"Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think." - Ephesians 3:20
God is doing amazing things, and I just have to tell you about it!
I go to a secular, public university, but from my point of view the last few weeks, you could hardly tell. I'm not saying there isn't brokenness, not at all. What I am saying is that God's presence is so evident. This whole semester has been a journey of seeing God more, everywhere. But at this point, I don't even have to go looking, he is showing himself in places I was beginning to lose hope.
A few weeks ago, I started praying. I don't mean "watch over me as I sleep" prayers, but like real burdens. The real, "I don't even think you'll do anything God, but would you just listen to what's bothering me?" prayers. I have been complaining to God every day since, nagging on him to listen to my little worries, and my big ones. And he has been unbelievably faithful to fulfill every request, and more. (And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we will have the requests that we have asked of him. -1 John 5:14-15). I want to praise Jesus for meeting me there, but please note that whether God answers our prayers or not, he is still good, and still praiseworthy. Don't do yourself a disservice by having a shallow relationship with God, only thanking him when things are good, and avoiding him when they are not. He is the same, beautiful, majestic, glorious Father whether we recognize our blessings or not.
Anyways, my prayers were heard. The prayers he put on my heart, he has carried out. I'm pretty far into the semester now and I had the rude awakening right before spring break, that there is no more room for excuses. I can't say I'm not sharing the gospel because I am still adjusting, that I don't feel the call, that I'm too busy. God knows me too well to even entertain those excuses. I was out of excuses, but the miraculous thing was, I didn't want to have anymore excuses. I didn't, and don't want to resist anymore. Before I even started seeking a change, God was transforming my stubborn, pitiful heart into a willing, and hungry heart. But then what?
I haven't been bold in my faith, in terms of talking to strangers, sharing the gospel, in far too long. I felt rusty. Not an excuse, but another cry for help. "Okay God, we both want me to go, would you bring people alongside of me, with the same desires?" A day goes by. My roommate comes running in our room, all excited that a young man had asked to pray over her and engage in a spiritual conversation. She politely declined him, but we went on to have an hour conversation of the gospel she grew up hearing. Man, my conviction grew. People on campus are doing the stuff and I am beyond encouraged. When can I go?
The next day I'm sitting outside in beautiful weather and two older gentlemen come over and ask if we could have a spiritual conversation. "Heck yes, take a seat!" and the two sit before me. They tell me they are from Ohio, helping a new church plant on campus, and that their group have seen 7 people decide to put their faith in Jesus in that week alone. It was Tuesday when they stopped me. I told them I'm really eager but feel unprepared, and they offered that I shadow them the next day. Great! I had my people to teach me, but what happens after they leave? "God, would you please give me people who are on campus, who will join me?" Wednesday morning, a man at breakfast asked me what was on my mind. I had recognized him from one of the ministries I participate in on campus. Funny he should ask, as I was just talking to my mentor about how I wish the same ministry I am apart of with this guy would do more for the campus. Long story, but he has the same heart I do, wanting to go.
I went with the Ohio guys and invited my friend on campus. We separated from them and my two friends joined me in some conversations. It felt like I never stopped after just a few times. The guy I met at breakfast invited me to an event the following Saturday to join a group that are already involved on campus and in the community with the same stuff I'm interested in. We both go, and we both left amazed. I was expecting it to be all students, but of the 15 or so that were there, I think there were 5 students total. There were three staff members from our school, and nearby neighbors..every walk of life. All coming together to encourage each other and the ministry at hand. I got up at one point just too excited to sit still! God was and is doing something huge.
My other friend involved in a different ministry has been going on prayer walks like every day. I see Christian organizations rising up and waking up to the calling we've all fallen asleep to. Whether its be writing verses on the sidewalk, or meeting faithfully every week, or uttering Jesus name, He is being glorified more on this campus than I could have prayed to see in 4 more years at this university. There is change happening, and I am beyond elated that I'm not the only one who won't stop until we see it.
All of this to say, many peoples prayers are being answered, but on so many more levels than I can describe here.
So to end this long post (I didn't even include everything!), whether you are paying attention to how God is moving in your life and around you or not, he is. But man, you are missing out on some indescribable excitement if you don't tune in. I can honestly say my heart feels like it is going to explode every day from the life I have found in Jesus, and I pray the same for you.
"For you, O LORD, have made me glad with what you have done, I will sing for joy at the works of your hands." - Psalm 92:4
"Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think." - Ephesians 3:20
Friday, March 4, 2016
"Every Rose Has Its Thorn"
A year ago today my life changed, and little did I know at the time it was for the better. I am not going to give this date more hold in my life than it deserves, but this year reflection is worth noting.
I found myself incredibly broken and lost on March 5th, 2015. I think it is the most vulnerable I have been in a long time. God has used that vulnerability in amazing ways this past year.
I knew that you had to come to the end of yourself to turn to God, I had done that a few times before. But I came to such a place where I was paralyzed on my own. Something had to change. Both in my physical situation, but in my spiritual life as well.
I was doing okay. I stayed out of trouble, was attending church, avoiding bad, associating with good. I even went to weekly bible study afterwards like nothing had happened the week before. But that wasn't what God wanted for me. He wanted, and still wants, my heart to long for Him and put Him above all else. To love Him, not because doing so keeps my life relatively stable and I don't have trouble around me, but because loving Him is what I am made to do. He made it possible for me to have full access to Him through Jesus (Romans 3:23-24), and He wants me to live in the freedom of knowing Him. I don't think I could know Him like I do now, if I hadn't been stripped of everything I was holding onto a year ago. Coming to God isn't comfortable, but that isn't a reason to avoid it. Note that when I say coming to God, I don't mean coming to church, coming to bible studies...not where He is. I mean coming to who He is.
He showed his love, presence, and action in my life so tangibly in the following weeks. I have an amazing mentor (seriously, everyone needs someone pouring into them) that stepped in and helped me turn to God for answers when I was so so lost. Anna Moore is something else, y'all. Anyways, He sent her and her husband to guide me through something I could have never done on my own. They loved me enough to show me such an incredible balance between comfort and sternness. They didn't go easy on me, they didn't tell me what I wanted to hear. They loved me too much to do that. Letting go of comfort was, and is, one of the hardest things for me. It's a lot like a thorny rose. You get poked by a thorn and find it is easier to hold on than to feel it being pulled out of your skin. Once the thorn is pulled, there is a little blood (or grieving), but then you can see the rose for more than the thorn. That's what I needed. I could have gotten comfortable with pain, but Jesus felt all the pain so I didn't have to stay in what hurt.
I got to mourn and grieve and feel like crap. I went through denial, anger, rebellion. All of it, but with Him. He wept with me, and held me like a Father holds a newborn. He disciplined me and showed me being His is all that mattered to him. I couldn't give anything, and he carried me every second I wanted to give up. He put a strength in me I never knew was possible.
I ended up getting into my current university (I was dying to go to) in the spring, which allowed me to go experience all that I did in Arizona.
Arizona wouldn't have happened if I didn't let go.
That alone makes me want to run to God and ask what else I am holding on to that is standing in the way of unexpected blessings. God's presence was sooooooo evident in Arizona, and he grew me as a believer and a young woman in such a beautiful way. I no longer felt like the thorny part of a rose, but the rose itself. I learned and experienced true forgiveness, which allowed me to forgive others. I understood Jesus' love more than I ever could have if I was seeking love in other things. I understood His lordship and the importance of revering him as the true authority. He is sovereign and yet so personal. I learned being in such an unconditional relationship with my one true love. I could give him every intimate detail about me, knowing it was in good hands. If I needed to learn how to trust, it was going to be with the most faithful. If I was going to understand love, it was going to be with the God that is Love (1 John 4:8). When I couldn't give him my "good deeds" or even the time of day, he showed me he didn't care how I responded, but that he would love me the same. He is no joke.
This year makes me wonder what other events have changed the course of my life, and how God used such a mess, such a brokenness to make me more whole than I was before I broke. Do you remember any days when God just intervened so clearly and set you on his path? I'm thankful for March 5th, 2015. Something I thought I would never say. But with God, never say never. This day will mean nothing in the years to come but maybe a reminder that sin never has the final word.
2015 was messy. But it was the best year of my life. I experienced more pain, and more beauty than ever before in my life (in such a short time), and I got to see new parts of God to fall in love with through it all.
Don't get me wrong, God isn't good just because my life is better, and prayers got answered. He isn't good because now it is okay, but because he met me there, sobbing in my car, yelling at Him. He saw me as the rose in that moment, and loved me enough to walk through everything with me so that I could see the rose I am, too.
I hope this is an encouragement to anyone who feels like God doesn't see where you're at, or there is no way to bounce back. Seriously, yell at God if that's what you need, He can take it. Just anyway you can let Him in. His love for you is so genuine He will never force it on you, but accept it. It's there.
Also, don't hate any part of your story. God uses everything, especially, the most unexpected things to let you know your worth to Him.
“Some people grumble that roses have thorns; I am grateful that thorns have roses.”
― Alphonse Karr, A Tour Round My Garden
I found myself incredibly broken and lost on March 5th, 2015. I think it is the most vulnerable I have been in a long time. God has used that vulnerability in amazing ways this past year.
I knew that you had to come to the end of yourself to turn to God, I had done that a few times before. But I came to such a place where I was paralyzed on my own. Something had to change. Both in my physical situation, but in my spiritual life as well.
I was doing okay. I stayed out of trouble, was attending church, avoiding bad, associating with good. I even went to weekly bible study afterwards like nothing had happened the week before. But that wasn't what God wanted for me. He wanted, and still wants, my heart to long for Him and put Him above all else. To love Him, not because doing so keeps my life relatively stable and I don't have trouble around me, but because loving Him is what I am made to do. He made it possible for me to have full access to Him through Jesus (Romans 3:23-24), and He wants me to live in the freedom of knowing Him. I don't think I could know Him like I do now, if I hadn't been stripped of everything I was holding onto a year ago. Coming to God isn't comfortable, but that isn't a reason to avoid it. Note that when I say coming to God, I don't mean coming to church, coming to bible studies...not where He is. I mean coming to who He is.
He showed his love, presence, and action in my life so tangibly in the following weeks. I have an amazing mentor (seriously, everyone needs someone pouring into them) that stepped in and helped me turn to God for answers when I was so so lost. Anna Moore is something else, y'all. Anyways, He sent her and her husband to guide me through something I could have never done on my own. They loved me enough to show me such an incredible balance between comfort and sternness. They didn't go easy on me, they didn't tell me what I wanted to hear. They loved me too much to do that. Letting go of comfort was, and is, one of the hardest things for me. It's a lot like a thorny rose. You get poked by a thorn and find it is easier to hold on than to feel it being pulled out of your skin. Once the thorn is pulled, there is a little blood (or grieving), but then you can see the rose for more than the thorn. That's what I needed. I could have gotten comfortable with pain, but Jesus felt all the pain so I didn't have to stay in what hurt.
I got to mourn and grieve and feel like crap. I went through denial, anger, rebellion. All of it, but with Him. He wept with me, and held me like a Father holds a newborn. He disciplined me and showed me being His is all that mattered to him. I couldn't give anything, and he carried me every second I wanted to give up. He put a strength in me I never knew was possible.
I ended up getting into my current university (I was dying to go to) in the spring, which allowed me to go experience all that I did in Arizona.
Arizona wouldn't have happened if I didn't let go.
That alone makes me want to run to God and ask what else I am holding on to that is standing in the way of unexpected blessings. God's presence was sooooooo evident in Arizona, and he grew me as a believer and a young woman in such a beautiful way. I no longer felt like the thorny part of a rose, but the rose itself. I learned and experienced true forgiveness, which allowed me to forgive others. I understood Jesus' love more than I ever could have if I was seeking love in other things. I understood His lordship and the importance of revering him as the true authority. He is sovereign and yet so personal. I learned being in such an unconditional relationship with my one true love. I could give him every intimate detail about me, knowing it was in good hands. If I needed to learn how to trust, it was going to be with the most faithful. If I was going to understand love, it was going to be with the God that is Love (1 John 4:8). When I couldn't give him my "good deeds" or even the time of day, he showed me he didn't care how I responded, but that he would love me the same. He is no joke.
This year makes me wonder what other events have changed the course of my life, and how God used such a mess, such a brokenness to make me more whole than I was before I broke. Do you remember any days when God just intervened so clearly and set you on his path? I'm thankful for March 5th, 2015. Something I thought I would never say. But with God, never say never. This day will mean nothing in the years to come but maybe a reminder that sin never has the final word.
2015 was messy. But it was the best year of my life. I experienced more pain, and more beauty than ever before in my life (in such a short time), and I got to see new parts of God to fall in love with through it all.
Don't get me wrong, God isn't good just because my life is better, and prayers got answered. He isn't good because now it is okay, but because he met me there, sobbing in my car, yelling at Him. He saw me as the rose in that moment, and loved me enough to walk through everything with me so that I could see the rose I am, too.
I hope this is an encouragement to anyone who feels like God doesn't see where you're at, or there is no way to bounce back. Seriously, yell at God if that's what you need, He can take it. Just anyway you can let Him in. His love for you is so genuine He will never force it on you, but accept it. It's there.
Also, don't hate any part of your story. God uses everything, especially, the most unexpected things to let you know your worth to Him.
“Some people grumble that roses have thorns; I am grateful that thorns have roses.”
― Alphonse Karr, A Tour Round My Garden
These two songs are so so quality and kind of explain God and me this past year, and maybe is what you need to hear :)
"Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you"
"The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God." -- Psalm 51:12,17
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